My Life, My Ways, My Side
by LionessOfTrebond
Summary: "My brother Brysen was born with mastery of the Force. Me? Not so much. While he goes to the academy, I get stuck here on Tatooine. They say life isn't fair. They're right. Why should he get all the glory? Maybe this mysterious Amaya woman will help me…" A Star Wars fic featuring all new characters. Kaila, a young woman living an Tatooine, seeks a darker route to power.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

Chapter One: The Beginning

I am Kaila. My brother Brysen was born with mastery of the Force. Me? Not so much. While he goes to the academy, I get stuck here on Tatooine. They say life isn't fair. They're right. Why should he get all the glory? I want to pay him back, to show him that I can do anything he can.

"_Hey, watch this!" A handful of sand comes hurtling through the air at my face. Spitting out the dry, gritty stuff, I pick up a handful and throw it back at him. Brysen deflects it with a wave of his hand. "You can't touch me. I know how to use the force. See?" He twirls his fingers, and a miniature sandstorm rises up in front of him. He gives it a few more twirls and it turns into a tiny tornado._

"_You may have some cool powers, Kichiro, but they won't do you much good out here at the Academy." _

_He flinches at the nickname. "Hey, I'm not just lucky. I trained hard to become a skilled pilot. And the Academy is always looking for students with mastery of the Force."_

"_That's only because some Skywalker kid used it to blow up a space station this one time," I say. "And any good marksman could have made that shot."_

"_Shooting missiles into a two-meter exhaust vent? That takes more than plain skill, Kai," my brother says with a knowing look. _

"_Well, see you later. May the Force be with you," I say with a sneer. As he walks away, I throw another handful of sand at his retreating back. It hits him full on, exploding into dust all over the back of his shirt. I laugh at him. He isn't so powerful after all. Jerk. I will teach him to respect me._

I jerked out of my reverie as I cruised along in my landspeeder. Looking out across the pale expanse of the desert, I sighed with pleasure. The dunes glowed with the soft glow of the slowly setting suns. My parents didn't know I was out here, of course. They thought I was in my room, studying hard for the Academy entrance exams. In their mind, I was inspired by my brother's example, driven to hard work and diligent study so I could follow in his footsteps. Well, they were partly right. I would follow his lead, but not by going to the Academy. No. They rarely accepted girls, anyway. Everyone always seems to think that girls have no stomach for war or some silliness of that sort. I snorted. The boys think we have cooties, more likely. Even grown men are intimidated when girls start to really gain power. They like their women nice and meek, so they can be controlled. Well, I didn't intend to be controlled by anyone. Maybe I would even control them, for a change.

The landspeeder stopped at a mud hut in the middle of a wide, empty plain of nothingness. It was all sand and desert scrublands as far as the eye could see. So this was the dwelling of the elusive and enigmatic Amaya? So far, I was not impressed.

A woman appeared at the entrance to the hut and beckoned me inside. I followed, intrigued by her mysterious silence. The woman was wearing a simple black cloak with a hood that concealed her face. She was fairly tall, and she felt powerful. It wasn't just the way she looked; the closer I got to her, the more I could sense it. She was radiating sheer power, a confident aura that surrounded her. She seemed to wear it as comfortably as the dark cloak draped over her shoulders. It was almost intoxicating. I wanted to be like that. I wanted her to teach me.

"Have you come to learn the secrets of the Force?" I jumped as her silky smooth voice finally issued forth from under the hood. "I sense great potential in you, young one. Your blood runs strong with that silent power, but with something else as well. I could feel it as you approached. You harbor much anger and resentment, do you not?"

I had not idea how she knew, but it didn't seem odd that she would. Even I could feel my blood boil when I thought about him. Kichiro. The lucky son. He had everything that I could not have. He was a boy. He could use the Force. Now he was off to the Academy to become a great hero, while I was stuck here as a lowly farmer's daughter. My destiny was always to be the follower concealed under my brother's shadow.

"It is not always luck that brings connection," the woman said. It was almost as if she had read my thoughts. Maybe she did, I though with a thrill. The things I could achieve with that kind of power… "Yes, now you begin to see. Accept your feelings and harness your true potential." The woman's voice was as smooth as velvet, lush with the promise of a new future, one where Kaila would not be just someone's little sister. She knew exactly what to say, and she said it. It was… seductive, that was the word. I couldn't resist. I took the bait.

"Will you teach me?"

The cloaked woman looked at me. I still couldn't see under the hood, but something dark and clever waited just underneath the surface, waiting to reveal itself. "You have much to learn, young one. But I do not know if I am the right one to teach you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, dismayed.

She paused. "Have you heard of the Jedi?"

The word filled me with cold hate. A memory washed over me…

_I am standing in front of a panel of men. Men who could decide my fate. I try my best to stay calm as they reach a verdict._

"_We have reached our decision," says the man in front of me. His eyes are sad. "You do not have the strength to undergo Jedi training. I am sorry, but it cannot be done."_

_No, I think. This isn't the way it was meant to happen. Ever since I was a child, I dreamed about becoming a Jedi knight and protecting the galaxy from evil. My brother had just been tested, and HE was allowed to join. He had decided in favor of the Academy, but I was ready to do something more._

_It looks like it isn't ready for me._

_The man stares at me. He still has those sad, knowing eyes. They burn into me with sorrow and pity, and suddenly I am furious. I hold my tongue in front of these people, so as not to dishonor my family, but the anger and hate course through my veins. How dare they put my brother above me? Am I not just as worthy? It is only because I am a girl, I brooded. If I had been born into a different body, they would have chosen me. If only-_

"_I feel much anger in you, young one." The man speaks in a grave tone, as if being angry is the most dangerous thing in the world. "I will tell you something that a teacher of mine once said to me. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the Dark Side.' You must learn to control your anger, lest it control you."_

_I can't take it any more. This man is not going to sit here and lecture me one moment longer. "What could I do? I don't have the strength, remember?" I say. The man only looks at me sadly. "You'll see. Some day I'll become even stronger than you. Than any of you!" I whirl around, sweeping the whole room. Some of the men put their hands to their heads as my gaze passes over them. The leader's gaze hardens._

"_Enough. You must watch yourself, understand what makes you feel this way. My father was like you when he was young, and he died trying to make up for what it led him to," the man said, his voice like steel. "Do not repeat his mistake."_

"_I don't care about your father!" I shout. How dare he guilt me by telling his sob story? That was his problem, not mine! "I don't care about anyone! It's not fair! This is so unfair!"_

_My father grabs my arm. "That's enough now, Kaila. Time to go."_

"_It's not fair!" I repeat._

"_Life isn't fair sometimes," he retorts, and drags me from the room. When I look behind me, there is the man again, staring into my soul. I can almost feel his eyes saying, "Just you wait. You'll be sorry. Just you wait."_

_No, YOU'LL be sorry one day, I think at him. I hope my glare will communicate my message._

_The man only shakes his head and turns away._


	2. Chapter 2: Fear

Chapter 2: Fear

"Have I heard of the Jedi?" I asked venomously. "It was they who rejected me."

"Why should they do that? You seem like a bright young girl to me." The woman's voice was edged with concern. It flowed like water over me, reassuring me. It's okay, the voice seemed to say. You can confide in me. I'm on your side.

"They said I didn't have the strength to be a Jedi knight, or something like that."

"That, my dear, was a lie," the woman said conspiratorially. "Your power is strong. Even now, I can feel the Force within you. Perhaps your power simply comes from a source that is foreign to them."

"But why would they lie to me like that? What could they possibly want?"

The woman sighed. "Maybe they were afraid of you."

I let out a short laugh."Them? Afraid of ME?"

"It is not so odd, you know. People fear what they do not understand. They lock it away and let it rot, rather than be brave and offer the new ways a chance. So it has always been with men, and so it will always be. So it is even with the Jedi. You are strong, but they are afraid of where your strength comes from."

_Fear leads to anger..._

"Tell me. How am I strong? What is the source of my power?"

"That I can show you. But let us not be too hasty. I have been the victim of fear as well. I have no desire to see you recoil from me. Do you truly want to be my student?"

"I would be honored to learn the ways of the Force from you."  
"Then first you must accept who I am. You have already met me, but are you prepared to see my face?"

I shivered. What was underneath that hood that she could want to hide so badly? No matter. I was strong. I was ready.

"Show me."

The woman hesitated, then raised her hands to her hood. "As you wish."

I couldn't help but stare. The woman's face was bright red. Not the red of somebody embarrassed, but true red, like an apple. Across her cheeks were strange marks. I could not tell if they were scars or tattoos, but they certainly seemed deliberate. Her coal black hair flowed out behind her in a sleek wave. Two tiny horns stuck out from the top of her head.

She saw the look on my face. "This is why I warned you," she said, her voice silky and smooth as always. It did not seem to match her strange face. "Even you fear me, because I am not like you. If you want to study with me, you must accept me for who I am."

I gaped some more. "What ARE you?"

"It matters not what I look like, but what I am on the inside," she replied. "What are you? I see your tanned face, your rough and calloused hands, your plain clothing. Are you only a farmer's daughter? No. You are so much more. And I am so much more than what I look like. Will you succumb to fear? Or will you take me for who I am?"

Humbled, I nodded. "I'm sorry. I just got startled by seeing something new. I accept you for who you are. I accept that you are more than just your appearance."  
"Good," she said, pulling the hood back on. "Then let us begin."

She turned her back and started to walk into the other room. "Wait!" I said. "Are you Amaya?"

She turned around to look at me. "Some call me that, yes. Some know me by a different name. It does not matter. We each define ourselves. Your name is but a label. It can be whatever you think suits you best. What is your name, young one?"

Kaila was on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't say it. If I was to become something more than a farm girl, I needed a new name. I wanted to be assertive, to show that I could do anything.

A name floated across my consciousness, and I grabbed it.

"I am Yasu," I said.

Amaya looked at me, a twinkle of a smile in her eye. She nodded. "In that case, Yasu," she said, "let us begin your training."


End file.
